Kissing confusion for left-handers!
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Some of our members have mentioned to us in the past that they often have trouble greeting people with a kiss on the cheek. They told us that the kissing would often lead to confusion and sometimes very awkward moments! So we thought that this couldn't be a one off and that there must be more left-handers out there that are having the same problem. So we asked you.... Is it just me or is it a left-handed thing? |
It seems that many of you have been compelled to respond to this question and all of your answers were great to read. From what you have told us, it appears that at least 4 out of 5 of you have had this problem at some time in their life but most of you have also learned to overcome it. So we think that there has to be something to this and it has to be a left-handed thing!
Listed below are some of the responses that we received to our question.
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- My (right handed) husband has learnt to stay still and just let me kiss him whichever way I want to!! I have had this problem going in for a hug as well, I clash heads with the other person, who is trying to go the same way as me... Again, I thought it was just me being strange and didn't link it to handedness! Thanks- you have made me feel a lot better about my apparent inability to hug someone without clashing! ~ Cait
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My son's wedding was a nightmare - kissing the female guests as they went into the reception. I just had to do it the right-handed way but this was wrong for several ladies - I can only assume that they were left-handed. |
- I usually wait to see which side the other person is going toward, and go with that. I have had problems, thou, when it comes to just giving a friendly hug, as to which side to put my head. :-) I would like to say, thou, this is the first survey I've ever filled out where, when asked whether to choose left or right, that "left" is listed first!! Thank you!!! ~ Cheryl
- I laughed out loud when I read this! MANY times I have accidentally brushed against someone's nose or even lips! Which would be okay if it happened to a man...but usually this happens when I go to greet another woman. TOO FUNNY! ~ Kimberly Spruill
- I've had this problem ever since I was a little girl. I first remember it on visits to my aunt who's husband is very European and always insisted on the double cheek kiss. I used to start getting nervous during the long car journey to their house knowing that I was going to have to kiss him, and that inevitably I would headbut him on the nose and feel very uncultured and silly. Until now I've never thought about it as a lefty issue, just a social thing about Brit's not being totally au fait with continental greetings! But now I'm thinking it was just me all along! ~ Zoe Lewis, UK
- Ah, for once I'm a "natural" left-handed kisser. I can finally explain the greeting-at-the-door dance I've done with my mother for almost 50 years! ~ Ellen Newton Hausler, USA
As a single person actively dating, I find this happens often. We both end up doing a little dance/head bob thing and end up looking goofy. Fortunately, I can usually laugh this off with the person I am hugging/kissing.
- Here in Spain, when greeting, most people move first to the right side, then the left. A standard two kiss greeting. I got used to this after a few months, feeling comfortable and having little to none embarrassing clashes. THEN, I took a weekend trip to Italy, only to find out that they kiss starting on their left. Man, did it mess me up! I had many close call lip or nose kisses! ~ Jill, Spain
- My, that is soooo true. I do it all the time and get really funny looks when things do not go exactly as erhm planned!! I did think it was me, but it is reassuring to know I am not alone.... ~ Stephanie, UK
- Just thought you'd like a Rightie's opinion (my son is the leftie in the family). I never thought of this kissing as a potential problem--your newsletters always make me aware of something new, which helps to understand what my son may encounter as he grows (he is almost 5.) Thank you! ~ Amy, USA
- I had a really embarrassing moment with this. I ended up kissing my friend's husband full on the lips. My daughter stood there and looked stunned. I felt so embarrassed and my 8 year old said 'what about daddy?' I couldn't stop laughing later but I had some explaining to do to my partner and my friend! I now often wait to see which side the other person is going, which could make me appear stand offish. Oh well better than than lots of lip kissing!!! ~ Justine King, UK
- It's unbelievably true!!! but it has major advantages, my current boyfriend, then only best friend, was trying to kiss me goodbye and we ended up kissing "hello", LOL. ~ 'Rocket Queen'
- Myself and one of my best friends were going out later that night. well, we were trying on clothes and she wanted to try on the shorts I was wearing-with a belt. when she got them on and was trying to use the belt, she was having trouble getting it undone so she could do it. as she was having trouble, she made the comment "you and your left handedness." I had not realized she was having trouble with doing the belt until she said that and I asked what she meant. evidently,i had my belt "backwards". i have to wonder how many other "leftisms" there are that we (lefties) are unaware of?
~ Anonymous, USA
- Solved by embracing with the left arm, kissing the right cheek - my left arm around shoulder of friend being greeted - I serve as a church greeter, so I have "perfected" this over the years! (a left-hander adapting to what works best...) ~ Robert Callet, USA
- I've learned through trial and error. I "fake" motion to kiss on the cheek and wait to see which direction the other person moves then proceed and continue the friendly kiss on the cheek from there.
~ Shirley, USA
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It works the same way when walking past someone but you don't know which side to let them pass you on, so you end up doing a little dance and bounce on both feet before one person takes the lead and chooses a side. ~ Laura, UK |
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- Polite kissing is difficult - I also have a hang-up about shaking hands on meeting new people.
~ Anonymous
- I bump noses thought I was just awkward.Also I have difficulties with locks and keys is it just me ?
~ Frances Todd, UK
Along with the problem of greeting people with a kiss we also received comments on other things that made us think....is it just me or is there more to it? Some of the things that were mentioned were:
- walking down the street/crossing other peoples paths
- hugging
- being helped to put on a jacket
- receiving change
- putting children's socks and shoes on
- using your left-hand as a point of reference when giving directions
- feeling more comfortable sitting on the left hand side of things
- putting belts on upside down
- visualise things the opposite way around
- trouble opening/locking locks
- work stations flow the opposite way around
Click here to see our full list of other "Is it Me?" comments.
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Comments 75
This happens all the time, the feint to move, then hold still as they move then let them, then they signal to let you. Bumping into people as a result.
Luckily as a short woman, I never appear aggressive walking into people, so I feel sorry for taller or male lefties.
I tend to stand still now saying "I'm left handed, please walk round me".
Also, in my job we often have to close and open bar carts with locks. Sometimes I realize I cannot open them because the lock had been put and closed the "right handed" way :) I definitely agree with most points in this article, I have felt the same in my experience.
I am new to this site so I am wondering how dancing and being spun around with a male partner works for you ladies. Some times in a group where my dancing partner doesn't know me, I spin the wrong way or am better at leading. Needless to say I get asked if I know how to dance or why I lead. I just laugh and say "You are dancing with a Lefty and I am not going to change". I usually get a big laugh.
"Wrong" way path thru museum exhibits.
Glad to hear about trouble with keys. Me, too.
I just bought the left handed pens and actually understood what I wrote for the first time-
I can write backwards faster and neater then forward-been doing it since I was little-most know it as mirror writing-in college I took notes that way so I'd understand my own writing-still do it to amaze people for fun
I also wish it did not happen.
- Dot, Australia
Everyone leaves my tea kettle facing the "wrong" way but me!
backpack's zipper pocket closes the wrong way, to the right. Looking for a new one!
I do a lefthanded tick when a tick is needed sealed wiv a kiss ead on....
Also, thanks for mentioning locks -- having moved apartments for the first time in decades, I'm still struggling with the new locks after nearly a year. I should check whether they're easier with shopping bags in hand(s) or not.
Writing the 0 anti-clockwise.
Date from right starting with year.
Start writing cheque from the right.
Teaching daughter to tie laces lefthand way although she is righthanded, she still does & confuses my wife every time she shows her.
What is the "proper" way to hug a righty? I ALWAYS have arm issues, and started to avoid it long ago. Anyone have insight into this?
which cheek ARE you supposed to aim for?
still in limbo
I managed to get one thing changed recently. RSPB at Fairhaven Lake, Lytham St Annes, has a whiteboard for visitors to write down the birds they see around the lake. The whiteboard was up against the back of the outside door (with the door to the right) in such a position that I was cramped up against the door and found it hard to write. I asked the manageress of the centre if she would consider moving the whiteboard to the left, and the next time I went in, it had been, so I find it easy to write now.
Similarly I feel uncomfortable in shops that have routes round that are obviously biased to right handed people.
I find sewing machines easy to use as the work is more often than not to the left of the needle - easily guided by my left hand.
I get a lot of shake on my photos because the shutter button is on the right and my motor control is not so refined in my right fingers. (I thought it was my eyesight not focusing the camera properly).
I often muddle up right and left when giving instructions to find somewhere, and its only later when I've thought about it that I realise that I've sent them the wrong way.
Keep turning left though and you will eventually appear on a previous part of your journey.
Shoe shops - I always have to ask for the other shoe to be brought out to try as my left foot is the bigger of the two.
When my husband and I were first dating, our kissing was a bit clumsy too (he is right-handed)and we both wear glasses! This led to frequent clashes of frames, noses, teeth! We have survived and learned to make adjustments. I find it interesting that this hasn't been spoken about before.
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