Visit our online shop for your left-handed productsKissing confusion for left-handers!
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Some of our members have mentioned to us in the past that they often have trouble greeting people with a kiss on the cheek. They told us that the kissing would often lead to confusion and sometimes very awkward moments! So we thought that this couldn’t be a one off and that there must be more left-handers out there that are having the same problem. So we asked you…. Is it just me or is it a left-handed thing? |
It seems that many of you have been compelled to respond to this question and all of your answers were great to read. From what you have told us, it appears that at least 4 out of 5 of you have had this problem at some time in their life but most of you have also learned to overcome it. So we think that there has to be something to this and it has to be a left-handed thing!
Listed below are some of the responses that we received to our question.
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- My (right handed) husband has learnt to stay still and just let me kiss him whichever way I want to!! I have had this problem going in for a hug as well, I clash heads with the other person, who is trying to go the same way as me… Again, I thought it was just me being strange and didn’t link it to handedness! Thanks- you have made me feel a lot better about my apparent inability to hug someone without clashing! ~ Cait
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My son’s wedding was a nightmare – kissing the female guests as they went into the reception. I just had to do it the right-handed way but this was wrong for several ladies – I can only assume that they were left-handed. |
- I usually wait to see which side the other person is going toward, and go with that. I have had problems, thou, when it comes to just giving a friendly hug, as to which side to put my head.
I would like to say, thou, this is the first survey I’ve ever filled out where, when asked whether to choose left or right, that “left” is listed first!! Thank you!!! ~ Cheryl
- I laughed out loud when I read this! MANY times I have accidentally brushed against someone’s nose or even lips! Which would be okay if it happened to a man…but usually this happens when I go to greet another woman. TOO FUNNY! ~ Kimberly Spruill
- I’ve had this problem ever since I was a little girl. I first remember it on visits to my aunt who’s husband is very European and always insisted on the double cheek kiss. I used to start getting nervous during the long car journey to their house knowing that I was going to have to kiss him, and that inevitably I would headbut him on the nose and feel very uncultured and silly. Until now I’ve never thought about it as a lefty issue, just a social thing about Brit’s not being totally au fait with continental greetings! But now I’m thinking it was just me all along! ~ Zoe Lewis, UK
- Ah, for once I’m a “natural” left-handed kisser. I can finally explain the greeting-at-the-door dance I’ve done with my mother for almost 50 years! ~ Ellen Newton Hausler, USA
As a single person actively dating, I find this happens often. We both end up doing a little dance/head bob thing and end up looking goofy. Fortunately, I can usually laugh this off with the person I am hugging/kissing.
- Here in Spain, when greeting, most people move first to the right side, then the left. A standard two kiss greeting. I got used to this after a few months, feeling comfortable and having little to none embarrassing clashes. THEN, I took a weekend trip to Italy, only to find out that they kiss starting on their left. Man, did it mess me up! I had many close call lip or nose kisses! ~ Jill, Spain
- My, that is soooo true. I do it all the time and get really funny looks when things do not go exactly as erhm planned!! I did think it was me, but it is reassuring to know I am not alone…. ~ Stephanie, UK
- Just thought you’d like a Rightie’s opinion (my son is the leftie in the family). I never thought of this kissing as a potential problem–your newsletters always make me aware of something new, which helps to understand what my son may encounter as he grows (he is almost 5.) Thank you! ~ Amy, USA
- I had a really embarrassing moment with this. I ended up kissing my friend’s husband full on the lips. My daughter stood there and looked stunned. I felt so embarrassed and my 8 year old said ‘what about daddy?’ I couldn’t stop laughing later but I had some explaining to do to my partner and my friend! I now often wait to see which side the other person is going, which could make me appear stand offish. Oh well better than than lots of lip kissing!!! ~ Justine King, UK
- It’s unbelievably true!!! but it has major advantages, my current boyfriend, then only best friend, was trying to kiss me goodbye and we ended up kissing “hello”, LOL. ~ ‘Rocket Queen’
- Myself and one of my best friends were going out later that night. well, we were trying on clothes and she wanted to try on the shorts I was wearing-with a belt. when she got them on and was trying to use the belt, she was having trouble getting it undone so she could do it. as she was having trouble, she made the comment “you and your left handedness.” I had not realized she was having trouble with doing the belt until she said that and I asked what she meant. evidently,i had my belt “backwards”. i have to wonder how many other “leftisms” there are that we (lefties) are unaware of?
~ Anonymous, USA
- Solved by embracing with the left arm, kissing the right cheek – my left arm around shoulder of friend being greeted – I serve as a church greeter, so I have “perfected” this over the years! (a left-hander adapting to what works best…) ~ Robert Callet, USA
- I’ve learned through trial and error. I “fake” motion to kiss on the cheek and wait to see which direction the other person moves then proceed and continue the friendly kiss on the cheek from there.
~ Shirley, USA
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It works the same way when walking past someone but you don’t know which side to let them pass you on, so you end up doing a little dance and bounce on both feet before one person takes the lead and chooses a side. ~ Laura Piplica, UK |
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- Polite kissing is difficult – I also have a hang-up about shaking hands on meeting new people.
~ Anonymous
- I bump noses thought I was just awkward.Also I have difficulties with locks and keys is it just me ?
~ Frances Todd, UK
Along with the problem of greeting people with a kiss we also received comments on other things that made us think….is it just me or is there more to it? Some of the things that were mentioned were:
- walking down the street/crossing other peoples paths
- hugging
- being helped to put on a jacket
- receiving change
- putting children’s socks and shoes on
- using your left-hand as a point of reference when giving directions
- feeling more comfortable sitting on the left hand side of things
- putting belts on upside down
- visualise things the opposite way around
- trouble opening/locking locks
- work stations flow the opposite way around
Click here to see our full list of other “Is it Me?” comments.
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I was trying to find out more info about lefties in order to understand and assist my nephew who is a lefty. What I don’t understand is the “is it just me or is it a lefty thing” because you’re taking out the “it’s normal for many people” option. I know you’re trying to focus on lefties, but for instance with the kiss greeting thing, my whole family jokes about not knowing which side to start on because we seem to clash so often. Until my nephew came along, we had no lefties in the group! Same with left and right, like w/dancing or instructions, my sisters and I have joked our whole lives about having to think a second before responding or giving left/right commands (difficult in a drill team!) we wore rings on our right hands to try to help speed up the processing of left/right. Again, we’re not lefties. So why not see what things people have trouble with IN GENERAl, before pronouncing things “lefty issues”, unless you are PROMOTING the differences? You might find that you have more in common than you think.
I think Ive only bonked my head on someone once or twice… A lot of hugging in my family not so much kissing. I don’t have any trouble with the hugging because I go in from the side like the arm hug thing, but when its FAMILY family I have to hug them fully. And I think they would understand if I did… Especially my parents!
My main problem is that I have to hold stuff like bottles in my left hand so if it’s like stuff like body wash or shampoo I have a hassle getting it on my right side since it’s the same hand as arm… It is almost impossible for me to hold the bottle in the right hand and open the lid with the left. Weird? Or does someone else have trouble with this too? :/
I do that too! I hate it!
I think I’ve just adapted “quite well” (according to righties), to most situations. I can comfortably use a computer mouse with my right hand, a can opener or nail clipper; even play drums & guitar, the rightie way. However, the hugging, kissing and walking by someone’s side still troubles me!!! I’ve almost kissed several people on the lips! and the thing is, righties can’t seem to be open enough to see things in a different light, do we lefties, often do!
You know … this happily explains why I only feel comfy hugging certain people … !
One thing I find irritating is that in many banks, the pen used for signing one’s receipt is anchored to the right-hand side of the till. I have to stand virtually in the next till to use it.
I managed to get one thing changed recently. RSPB at Fairhaven Lake, Lytham St Annes, has a whiteboard for visitors to write down the birds they see around the lake. The whiteboard was up against the back of the outside door (with the door to the right) in such a position that I was cramped up against the door and found it hard to write. I asked the manageress of the centre if she would consider moving the whiteboard to the left, and the next time I went in, it had been, so I find it easy to write now.
When I was a quite bit younger than now, my right handed older brother was trying to teach me to tie knots. I was a few weeks away from enlisting in the U.S. Navy and he had just spent eight years in and said I had to know how to tie certain knots. He tried and tried but I could not ‘learn’ the knots. After a few frustrating minutes, he called me a name, and stalked off. It took me a long time to figure out he was teaching me the right handed way. Once I did it “my way”, I learned quickly. And yes, hugs and kisses have always been an exercise in embarrasment with certain people. Now, my family knows to reserve an end seat or the left side when going out to eat.
I dont use carparks that have an anticlockwise route round – its more natural as we drive on the left anyway to have a clockwise route round. Obviously been designed by a rightie.
Similarly I feel uncomfortable in shops that have routes round that are obviously biased to right handed people.
I find sewing machines easy to use as the work is more often than not to the left of the needle – easily guided by my left hand.
I get a lot of shake on my photos because the shutter button is on the right and my motor control is not so refined in my right fingers. (I thought it was my eyesight not focusing the camera properly).
I often muddle up right and left when giving instructions to find somewhere, and its only later when I’ve thought about it that I realise that I’ve sent them the wrong way.
Keep turning left though and you will eventually appear on a previous part of your journey.
Shoe shops – I always have to ask for the other shoe to be brought out to try as my left foot is the bigger of the two.
We visit friends in Spain quite often, and the double greeting of a kiss on each cheek has always felt awkward to me. I thought it was just me being very British and a bit formal, now I know it’s just being left-handed!
When my husband and I were first dating, our kissing was a bit clumsy too (he is right-handed)and we both wear glasses! This led to frequent clashes of frames, noses, teeth! We have survived and learned to make adjustments. I find it interesting that this hasn’t been spoken about before.
I am the only one of my brothers who is left handed. Unlike our President Obama, I am not a hook writer I have to slant everything and move my body to a right angle or sideways, when I am studying I have to turn my body to the right to write in my notebook. At my then wife’s home in Texas the locks on the front door were for left handed people but it was close to the wall so I always hit my hand on the wall of the front door. When I go to the movies with a friend or my brother I have to sit in the middle and I prefer to be on the left side, but when I am at a restaurant and I am sitting next to someone I have to be on the outside to avoid hitting elbows with the right handed person whom I am with. I just saw the new Woody Allen film and I noticed that Owen Wilson is left handed, of course I always knew that the lovely and talented Julianne Moore is left handed, and of course the late great electric guitarist Jimi Hendrix. Rock on lefties, let’s unite!
I do that when studying too! Having just finished exams for my sports massage diploma I ended up with my body misaligned from sitting in that position too long. Because I turn my body to the right and turn my notebook that way so that I can write I end up with a sore neck from angling it to see properly. All my books on the desk need to be angled too.
I also do that!!! IT gives me the arm rest I need, to write! If only they had 5 left handed desks in every class for us lefties.I always sit on the outside and always sit on the left. Don’t know why it just seems more natural and convenient to sit like that… They should make left handed classrooms where you can be with all the lefties and have the utensils needed for being left handed instead of having to learn right handed. In my class an amount I’ve never seen in any of my classes Ive taken, a number of about 7 were left handed!!! And the teacher is too!
Wow! And I thought I was just being clumsy with hugs and kisses and the passing by on the street. I always felt so embarassed when it happened again. And now I understand why I don’t have this with my sister. She is a lefty as well
Hi Carine, it is not you it’s them believe me. My first wife would hang up my clothes after she got them from the dryer and I got the worse headache, she hung up my clothes the right handed way, the wrong way around. We’re special and different and everyone knows it, they’re envious of us! Kissing is a chore for me too, righties turn the other way, the wrong way.
Oh my goodness! Thank you for sharing this! I always thought there was something really wrong with me. Whenever the family gets together, I always have the difficult task of the hug and kiss greeting. No one else in the family is left-handed, so I am the awkward one out. We do the bobbing-head thing for at least three times before a kiss gets landed (sometimes in the wrong place